Richi Barua

Professor Ewan

FIQWS

March 6 2019

How I changed for Bengali

Bengali has always been a huge part of my life. I grew up in Bangladesh, where I learned to read, write, and speak Bengali. I recall sitting by myself sometimes, holding a children’s book, and reading for hours. I loved reading in Bengali. Its script beautifully unfolds and its elegance never fails to amuse me. I am proud that I acquired the skills to read and write in this language, but it wasn’t the easiest experience to learn and accept it as a part of me. At a certain point in my life, my knowledge of Bengali was limited. I was a novice speaker and did not know any better until one day, when I encountered a short story called “মাহির সমস্যা” (“Mahi’s Dilemma”), a story about a boy’s realization, from the book ছোটদের ছোট গল্প (Children’s Short Stories)  by Ahsan Habib. Habib’s book has positively impacted me by changing me into someone with a better understanding of Bengali Literacy and this allows me to appreciate my mother tongue.

When I was young, learning Bengali was hard for me. The issue was that I was enrolled in a primarily English speaking school, which consisted of English structured classrooms. This prevented me from learning the language in depth. I had difficulty in reading and writing, which left me devastated. I felt hopeless and didn’t think that I would ever be fluent in Bengali.

Bengalis take huge pride in their language. I grew up seeing this through my mother who read books after books in the corner of the room. Whenever I woke up in the morning, I would always see her reading her novels. Anyway, the pride of the language actually extends even further. Every year, around February, a huge Bengali book fair is held in order to pay tribute to the language. I always loved going to this fair because I was able to spend time with my family. I still remember one particular visit to the fair very vividly. In that particular visit, as I was strolling around, my eyes caught the brightest book in the aisle. Habib’s book attracted me and I immediately wanted to read it. At the time, it didn’t matter whether I had the skills to read it or not. All I wanted at that moment was to take that book home.

As I approached home with Habib’s book in my hand, I immediately started reading it and fell in love with the way the stories were written.  Since the stories in the book were short and easy to comprehend, I was able to read it with my novice skills. As I read the book, I became fond of all the stories. Every one of them was spectacular, but one story particularly affected me greatly. Habib wrote “মাহির সমস্যা” (“Mahi’s Dilemma”) about Mahi, a boy who wanted to fit in with his friends. In one of the parts of the text, Habib described how Mahi’s friends were being obnoxious and were showing off their English speaking abilities when Mahi and they met up. When I had first read this, I did not like Mahi’s friends. To me, they were more than just showing off. I interpreted these boys as individuals who degraded their mother tongue and thought of themselves as something greater. Mahi was influenced by these people and started to think less of his origin, which caused him to think that he needs to learn English. Now, don’t get me wrong. English is a very important language and many people around the world want to learn it. English can be helpful if you speak it but Mahi, in this case, wanted to learn it for the wrong reasons. I did not like what Mahi was thinking at all and hoped he would change throughout the story.

Mahi seemed lost to me at this point, and that’s when his family helped him. When Mahi’s uncle came to visit him, Mahi had opened up to him and told him his dilemma. As they continued to discuss the topic, his uncle gave Mahi a piece of his thought. Mahi’s uncle explained that his mindset was not good. He told Mahi that he should be proud of Bengali and never degrade it. By hearing this from his uncle, Mahi finally realized what he was doing was wrong. He understood that his ethnicity is beautiful and that he should be proud of it and not degrade it. Habib’s description of this scene made me fall in love with his work. I loved how he showed young kids that we should appreciate our language. I loved how he showed the true value of languages and value of cultures.

I was very happy to read such a story but I was also very upset. I felt disappointed that I was a novice reader and a writer in Bengali. I wanted to be proud of my language but I didn’t think it was possible because I was not fluent in it. I wanted to change myself and become a new person. I just wanted to be fluent.

From that day on, I had set my mind to learning Bengali. I started to read a lot of texts and also started to practice my writing skills. At the time, I just envisioned a future Richi who could fluently speak and read Bengali. I kept on dreaming and dreaming about my goals. I hoped and hoped that my dream would become a reality, but it didn’t.  I finally concluded that hoping does not lead me anywhere. I did not improve my literacy skills at all. I kept on practicing and practicing, but my hard work was not showing any results. I had never faced that type of experience before. Usually, if I studied efficiently for tests, I would do excellently on them. Not being able to achieve something despite trying so hard caused me to question my abilities. As you could see, this was a very frustrating period that I had to go through.

Giving up is easy, but I don’t usually take easy routes. I have come to notice that I tend to challenge myself a lot. That is exactly what I did back then as well. I did not give up at all and instead, I planned a better study guide for me. I knew that I lacked basic skills such as spelling, grammar, and punctuation and therefore, my guide for learning Bengali revolved around those topics. I also asked my mom to help me with my journey. She is an excellent writer and therefore, asking for her help opened more opportunities for me. Making a new schedule and a learning plan had definitely positively impacted me. Sure, I had bad days when I just wanted to cry because I couldn’t meet my expectations, but on those days, I kept on thinking about Habib’s text. That story reminded me to keep going. It reminded me that one day, I would feel proud to know such a beautiful language.

Not everyone who works hard gets positive results. Fortunately, I was one of the people who’s hard work indeed paid off. I am definitely not an excellent reader nor an excellent writer but I am an improved person. As I practiced and practiced, my reading and writing comprehension grew tremendously. All that I did was change the way that I studied and I started to improve. This improvement hugely affected me because now, I finally feel proud.

Although I don’t have the text with me momentarily, I still remember the story I wrote very vividly. It is called “দুই পাখি”(“Two Birds”) and it’s about the difficulties that two birds face in order to be with each other. The story is a result of my experience because I went through difficulties in order to reach my goal. This story is the first story that I have ever written in Bengali and it is a result of my improved reading and writing skills.

Now that I look back at Habib’s story, I feel a sense of appreciation. I appreciate that book because it developed me into the person that I am today. Mahi’s story was incredible and I still interpret the story the same way I did years back. I still interpret the story to be as something that reminds me to appreciate Bengali. Habib changed my life forever and therefore, his book should gain more attention. His work was a part of me and always will be a part of me, a part of Richi.